Or don’t do, because the logistics are just too complicated. I didn’t quite ask Chef to go to Tahiti with me, but I did mention (while slightly inebriated) a cruise for my mom’s birthday in January and it would be fun if he would go. Guys do not want to hear, especially on the third date, that you feel there’s a connection there. Who really knows on a third date if there is a connection anyway, crazy? He needs to borrow the computer, and opens it up and it’s right on his Facebook page. Remember when I went out with that notary public and he cheated on me and then Anastasia from upstairs told me about how her boyfriend cheated on her in the beginning then he totally changed and now they’re married and crazy in love? Anyway my point is, Anastasia is the exception, not the rule. Then oh, um, there was Don, that broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I used to refer to him as my husband to random people, like my dental hygienist.So, because I love lists, here’s my personal list of 10 Ways to Lose a Guy (Maybe in 10 Days). We have to stop listening to these stories because the rule is most guys who cheat on you up front don’t really care about you very much. Anyway, all my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. And an IQ test to make sure he knows the state capital and the difference between complement and compliment, among other things. 7) Force a guy to watch a Felicity marathon with me. I was on the phone with my sister who lives in California and she wanted to know what Chef looked like. He could cook, I could bake and we could invite our respective friends to hang out. It’s like when Gigi on He’s Just Not That Into You suddenly assumes she is co-hosting a party because the guy in which she is interested asks her to refill some chips.

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Sigh.” Or “Why are some people so hard to understand? Pool parties in the summer are one of my favorite things.

I’m no spring chicken and I need to know if you are viable for baby-making 5) Post emo status updates on Facebook. If I didn’t know better, I would regularly post things like, “Just wondering what someone is thinking.

It’s so fun for you, and fun for your friends to watch the downward spiral.

That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after.

Last night, I watched a chic-flick mini marathon, including How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and He’s Just Not That Into You. Then judge them on whether they like Ben or Noel better. So I told her his real name, and she got on Facebook and started looking at his profile. He gave me a look that said, “Hello, crazytown.” And he was right. What’s on your list of crazy stuff you have the urge to do in the beginning of a relationship?

Watching these movies got me thinking about the crazy stuff I really want to do when I first start seeing a guy. The Ben (not so nice but hot guy) or Noel (super nice guy) question is something I like to get out of the way early on in a relationship. Is he going to be a hot guy who is always aloof with me, and will eventually cheat on me? She asked me about a few pictures, but I didn’t know which ones she was talking about. Have you ever done anything crazy of which you are not proud?

Stuff that I only admit to my closest friends, and all of you on this blog. But I live in a constant state of counting calories. I get to keep a little, and then I get to hand off the calories and burden to someone else. The minute I start seeing someone regularly, I have this urge to make them brownies. And maybe zucchini bread, depending on what ingredients I have in the house. Or is he going to be a good guy and treat me well, but probably bore the hell out of me? ” and refuse to believe him when he says that he isn’t thinking anything. So I got on my computer, and over the phone, looked at all his pictures with her. If you were truly trying to lose a guy in 10 days, what would you do?

Stuff that I either A: Have personally done, and immediately regretted or B: Know way better than to do, ever. What’s more fun than having a romantic beach rendezvous with a guy you are into? However, I’m not sure it’s appropriate to mention you want to go on a trip with someone, say, two months into a relationship. 2) Tell a man that you two have “a connection.” This is a mistake I’ve made a few times in my dating life. I also cannot have baked goods in my house without eating the entire pan within a week. But unfortunately, I don’t think it’s appropriate to hand over chocolate chip cookies to someone I’ve only seen six times. And I don’t mean a bad guy who says he’s a good guy. Fast forward to two hours later, and Chef is at my house. Oh, and in case you are wondering, here’s my favorite part from He’s Just Not That Into You: Gigi: I think I’ve figured it out. He only used me for rides and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998.

That is the exception and we’re not the exception, we’re the rule.